Chiquita on the End of the World

I’ve come to the conclusion that the world is coming to an end. Ok, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but seriously, what is going on with the world these days? All these earthquakes and volcanoes, flooding, and even an oil spill!
I don’t know which one of these disasters is the worst, but the one that hits home the most is the flooding in Nashville. I have a couple reasons for this having an impact on me. One is that I have visited Nashville before more than once, so I’m pretty familiar with the town, and I know quite a few streets that have been shown on the news. It’s really weird to think that I stood in the same spot and complained about it being too hot and dry when they show it on the news completely flooded with 10 feet of water in every direction. It’s really scary. The second reason is because of the Flood of 2008 here in Cedar Rapids. I was really involved in volunteering when our flood took place, and I really want to go down to Nashville to help out with their flood, but with school and everything, I can’t. I’m disappointed. Perhaps after we get out of school I could take a week off work and go down there and help with the clean up. I think that would be good for me to get a little break from Iowa because things have been so crazy here with my life lately, and I think that I could also help out quite a bit because I’ve volunteered with and for flood victims before.
I’ve been watching the Weather Channel a lot lately and it’s a pretty scary channel these days. They showed these pictures of these two teenagers clinging to a vehicle this morning. They interviewed the girl, and I imagined that happening to me. That girl could have been anyone that I know down in Nashville, and that thought is really crazy. Here’s the video.

An equally concerning event in the news this past week or two is the oil spill. It makes me sick to imagine all the animals that that oil is going to kill. I get dizzy when I try to fathom how much money is just spilling into the ocean with every barrel of oil that leaks out. The economy is definitely going to take a huge hit with this one. A girl in my economics class works at a gas station, and today she was telling the class about how the gas station keeps changing the price of gas every day trying to keep up with what everyone thinks is going to happen to the price of gas as a result of the spill. My mom can’t decide if she should keep her tank full at all times in case the price sky rockets out of nowhere, or if she should fill it up just once and wait to see what happens. I couldn’t give her much advice because I don’t know either. It’s a pretty crazy time to be living on Earth, let me tell you.

This is a picture of the explosion that caused the spill.

All that brownish stuff is oil. =(

Chiquita on Donating Plasma

Just like any other high school (soon to be college!) student, I've been pretty low on cash lately. Its times like these when I really, really miss waitressing. It was always very nice to walk out at the end of the night with cash in hand, not having to stretch out my paycheck to make it last from one to the next. Well, I don't get tips working at Lowe's as a cashier, obviously. Bummer, right? Yea, it sucks. I get paid very well, more than I have ever been paid before and enough to make me want to work really hard to be able to stay on after the season is over, and hopefully all the way through college. Even though I get enough money to pay the things I need to pay for as well as buy the things I want, I still seem to have trouble keeping a hold of my money through the second week. When I first started, I started having my mom spot me twenty here or twenty there just to have some spending money from paycheck to paycheck. Thankfully, all that has suddenly changed. Recently, maybe a month or so ago, Haley and I started donating at BioLife, the plasma donation place. We both scheduled our physicals at the same time the first time and we pretty much always schedule our donation appointments on the same day at the same time so we can go together. The first time was pretty sucky. At first a younger girl poked me in my right arm, but she couldn't get a good vein, so she dug around in my arm for a while with the needle while I tried not to cry, then a different employee, named Lucas, came over and dug around in there for a while before deciding to poke my other arm. They got a good vein in that one right away and I was able to donate that day. The first time they poked me it hurt super bad because I wasn't used to it, but since that day, I feel it less and less every time I go. One time I went and my machine had a faulty separator, so I was only hooked for like thirty seconds and then the machine went crazy and started beeping and someone rushed over and checked everything out. He was like "yeah, you're done for the day," I was like "What?!" and then he explained to me that it was ok, I was fine, the machine just had a faulty separator and wasn't separating my blood and plasma and was just sending my blood straight into the plasma bag. That meant that I wouldn't be able to get my blood back, so I couldn't get on a new machine. I was fine with that though, because I still got paid. I've never been not allowed to donate for any reason, although I did have to sit for five minutes because my temperature was too low one time. Other than those times, I've had no problems and its been great. I love it because I normally go on Wednesdays and Fridays, so I have money in the middle of the week when I normally dont have any cash, and Fridays when I need money to go out. Its been working out pretty great so far!

Chiquita on Moving Back In

Well, that was quick. My mom called me on thursday and wanted me to come home. I told her I'd think about it. Right around that time, I was getting really sick of living at Cory's. Or not so much living at Cory's, but Cory in general. We are too similar to be spending so much time together. We definitely need more time apart with our own groups of friends. Anyways, we had definitely been at each other's throats. I understand that its both of us causing all the tension, but he thinks its just me and he's an angel, which just makes things even worse. He has definitely been getting to me, but I know I've been doing things to get at him too, both intentionally and unintentionally.
Anyways, I thought about it over the day on thursday, and decided that I would come home. Cory and I got into it again on thursday night, so I decided that after I went out on friday night, I would go home rather than going back to Cory's. Since friday, I've been staying at home. Its been good so far, my mom and I talked and we've made a few agreements that I think will help improve our relationship quite a bit.

On another note, I've been going through a serious 90's music phase. I was really happy to get home, so I could get back in touch with my beloved iTunes and download some more. The other day while I was riding in the car, a line in a song popped into my head, and it stayed there all day. The line was, "baby's black balloon makes her fly, I almost fell into that hole in your life", but I couldn't think for the life of me what song the line came from. Finally, I typed the whole thing into google and got back "Black Balloon" by The Goo Goo Dolls. Of course it would be them. They have endless amounts of good music. So I downloaded that song, along with some other of the Goo Goo Dolls' music that I didnt have, and I've been rocking out to it between classes for the past few days. Good stuff!

Well, I guess I will keep ya'll updated on my home life, right now its pretty sweet! Later!

Chiquita on Getting Kicked Out!

So you remember that post about my stupid divorced parents? I left a big part of that out. MY MOM KICKED ME OUT. Of my own house, all because my dad is paying for my graduation party because she doesn’t want to. How stupid is that? So I’ve been crashing at Cory’s house and staying with other friends until I can a) figure out what I’m going to do as far as a permanent home or b) convince my mom that I’m not ungrateful and a terrible daughter and to take me back in.
I have a few options as far as where I’m going to be living for the summer. I could stay with Cory, not that I really want to do that or think that’s a good idea. Also, I don’t want to be a burden on him and his family, and in the week and a half that I’ve been staying with them, I definitely feel like I am. I could get an apartment out at Kirkwood. I don’t know that I want to do that though. Kirkwood is just so far out there. I don’t want to have to be doing all that driving (except I wouldn’t be doing the driving, since I don’t have a car). I could probably live with my dad if i had NO other option, but that's pretty much a last resort. I guess I had better be figuring it out quick though!

Chiquita on Spring

Spring has sprung kiddos. It’s so nice out! I practically beg the head cashier to let me work in Outside Lawn & Garden every time I work because I absolutely love standing out there in the fresh air with all the flowers and the cool breeze. Spring is definitely my favorite time of year because its not too hot out where you get all sticky and its harder to breathe, and its not really cold out so I have to dress in ten million layers and wear a hat and gloves and practically freeze my butt off every time I go outside.
Another thing I love about spring is prom! I am getting more and more excited about going! I’ve started tanning because I want to have a little color for pictures and stuff, and if I didn’t tan Cory would be all dark from working outside at the Golf Course all day five days a week and I would be super white from never hanging out in the sun!
This weekend I think we’re planning a camping trip. I think Spring is the best time to go camping because its not unbearably cold at night, and its not too hot when you wake up and the sun is shining in the morning either. Hopefully we’ll get some fishing and perhaps a little boating in as well. First camping trip of the season, yay! Too bad I have to come back into town to go to work on Saturday and Sunday! I’ll let you know how that goes!!

Soooo I was wondering why my blog grade in AP wasn’t very good, and I just figured it out! I’ve been hitting “save” instead of publish or whatever, so none of them have been posting! Awesome, I am an IDIOT. A lot of them were from several weeks ago, and were about moving and stuff, so I’ll probably just delete them and write new ones now… epic fail!

Chiquita on my Stupid Divorced Parents

My parents have been divorced for as long as I can remember. I have always lived with my mom, and I've only seen my dad in waves throughout my childhood. From the time he left when I was three until the time he married my first stepmom was I was six, I didn't see him at all. He called my brother and I every once in a while, and he came to both our birthdays when I turned five and my brother turned seven. Jordan had a much better memory of my father during this time than I did because he was five years old when he left, and I was only three.
The first real memory I have of my father is the day when I met my step family. I remember coming into the house through the back door that led into the kitchen. My father was holding my brother's hand, leading him into the house. I clung to Jordan's hand for dear life. I remember feeling like I wanted to cry, but I didn't know why. Three girls came into the kitchen, and one woman. The girls' names were Kara, Cassie, and Ashley. The woman, our new stepmother, was Lisa. She was huge, or at least she seemed that way to me when I was six. If I saw her at the grocery store today, I probably wouldn't even recognize her. Its kind of like when you wake up from a nightmare, and you're scared and you know you should be scared, but you can't for the life of you conjur up the image of whatever it was that scared you. Needless to say, my brother and I hated her. Eventually, we stopped going to his house, or their house rather. THis was probably around the time that I was about eight. From then until I was nine, I didnt see him.
The summer I was nine years old, he divorced my step mom. She got his childhood home that they had been living in, so he moved into an apartment building in Marion called Taylor Wood. While he was living there, he dated a woman named Denise. Denise had a daughter named Rachel who was in between my brother and I in age. I liked them all right. We went over to my dad's apartment a lot when he first moved in, but over time he started making more and more excuses as to why we couldn't come over. We hadn't seen him in a few weeks, so when he finally called to see if we wanted to come over, I was really excited. When it came time for him to come get us, he didn't show up. We had to call him quite a few times before he finally answered. He said he wasn't coming because he was too tired. When my mom saw how disappointed we were, she decided to take us out to dinner. When we got to the restaurant, we saw my dad laughing and having a great time eating dinner with Denise and Rachel. I demanded that we leave. I didn't speak to my dad for a long time after that. I was really hurt that he blew me off like that. A couple of years went by of me going to his house on and off as I felt like it. He continued living at Taylor Wood for a while. When I was in fifth grade, my dad started dating a woman named Karen. After a while Karen, her son Taylor, and my dad moved into a house not far from where I lived with my mom. They never married, but they lived together for about a year before they split up. After that my dad lived with his mom for a while to take care of her before we decided to put her in a nursing home. While he was living with my grandma, he met my now stepmom, Vicki. They got married when I was in 8th grade. We went on a road trip right after the wedding.

Basically, what I'm trying to get across here is that my dad hasn't always been there for me. But now, he does much better. He helps out where he can. Its really nice to see that he at least is trying.

Now about my mom. To put it simply, she's always been the one who's taken care of me. We've been close for a long time, but recently all we do is fight. I asked her a while ago if I could have a grad party, and she said no because she doesn't want to pay for it. I was ok with that at first, I thought we could just go out to dinner or something. But then all my friends were asking me when my grad party was, and I kept having to say that I wasn't having one, and it really sucked. So i decided to talk to my dad about it. He said he'd love to help me out with it. So when I saw my mom after school on Monday, I told her I was having a grad party. She immediately yelled at me that I wasn't having one. I said simply that I was. She said, "Well, I'm not paying for it." I said, "I know. Dad is." That's when she freaked out and started yelling at me about how I'm ungreatful and all. I was really upset, so I called my dad when I got to work. He said of course he would pay for it, but no way was my mother invited. This did not help at all.

I am so sick of my parents. I should not have to choose between them. I should be able to have a grad party like every other kid at my school and I should be able to have both my parents there. They are just so childish. They think its ALL ABOUT THEM. Well its not. My graduation and my graduation party is about ME. ME ME ME. Just this one time, can't they put their differences aside and be there for THEIR daughter? Nope, I guess not.

Video!

Chiquita on Life

Ever had a time in your life when a series of events happened that changed you?
That's me right now. I'm not going to go into any detail, because really the details don't even matter. One time, I went to camp and broke my ankle. I got seperated from my group in a big crowd because I was on crutches. I had to walk back to my cabin by myself. Along the way, I ran into a camp counselor who offered to walk with me so I wouldn't have to walk by myself in the dark on crutches. I remember his name, even though it was so long ago. Johnathan Holliday. He had red hair. As we walked the mile or so back to the cabins, we talked. He was saying something about how all big events come in threes in life, or so he believed. At that time in my life, I was rather down and out, and I ignored his advice to watch for things in threes in life. Finally, within the last year, I started paying attention. Sure enough, everything comes along in threes. My three happened within a single month. One; I lost a close friend. Two; Someone I care about deeply hurt me in an unforgettable way, and Three; I made a mistake. Not a big mistake or one that would do any harm to anyone, but a mistake that changed me none the less.
One; the loss of my friend. This I do not regret. Sure, sometimes something funny happens, where I am given an opportunity to laugh about an inside joke, but I don't because at one time it was an inside joke between the two of us. I am not so immature as to say I always hated her and am so glad she's out of my life and on and on. Its not like that at all. We are just much better off without each other.
Two; Someome I care about deeply hurt me in an unforgettable way. You know how every person has a most embarassing moment in their life that they can always recall and will probably always be able to recall? This situation is like that. Only, its not embarrassing. Its just a bad memory I'm always going to have. Like you wake up and you think about it. You try not to, but it doesn't help at all. I don't love this person any less than I ever did. I have less respect for them, but I still care about them. People ask me all the time how I do it, how I go on like nothing ever happened when something clearly did, and I just reply that thats not how it is. I forgave them, so they go on like nothing ever happened, not me. I remember it every day, I bite my tounge on countless questions, things I would like to say. I wonder if this memory will ever finally fade. I don't think it will. I think I've learned a big lesson with this one. I've lost a lot of friends and people I love over things such as this, and this time, I just cared too much to hold the grudge i deserved to hold. I feel like I'm mature for this.
Three; I made a mistake. It wasn't a big mistake, it was a lack of judgement. I am a better person because of it. I guess its just me maturing as I go along, and that feels good, to live and learn.